Hi-dee Ho, New Neighboroonies!

My name's Reality Asylum!

Here on my new blog, I'm going to address the issues behind the REAL thoughts, joys, and fears of everyday Bill's and Jill's, Jane's and Wayne's, Joe's and Hoe's, Gents and Wen..ch.. es. You get the point.

Let's get the ball rolling tonight with a light-hearted discussion about the end of the world...

Yep. Just watched a documentary on this new-fangled theory that the world's gonna end soon- Saw it on the History Channel. They're legit. Don't use scare tactics or nothin' on ya.
[Sidebar: You ever see that show they have on what would happen to the world if humans ceased to exist? Or one of their "What on earth would get destroyed in an astroid/ major global flood/ hurricane/ insert scary natural disaster here" tv specials? Pretty scary/addicting. Am I right?]


So anyway, I guess we've got 3 years left to live, huh? What with the Mayan, Hopi, and Egyptian calendars all matching up with Nostradamus' theory that the world will end on December 21st, 2012. WOW-- Better get around to robbing those banks you've always wanted to rob! Also, now's the time to experience all the encounters you've been too afraid or law-abiding to indulge in.

I just wish the Mayan calendar cycle that happens to reset in 2012 DIDN'T mean the end of civilization. I wish that it was JUST a calendar that reset like normal calendars!

I also wish Y2K never happened, and our computers never blew up and eradicated mankind. That whole death of mankind thing sucked, huh?

I also wish the planet NIBIRU, which is allegedly 5 times the size of Earth, didn't really exist and wasn't scheduled to collide with Earth on December, 21st 2012. Oh, if only we'd be able to see a planet that size from our telescopes!

Damn the technology! Damn it all!

Oh, wait... What's that?

And the end of the Mayan calendar in December 2012 simply denotes a new cycle of awareness for mankind?

It just means that the calendar ends.. and then you start a new one?

And when Y2K happened, we just switched the 1's to 2's and the 9's to zeroes and everything was fine?

And does this also mean that planet "Nibiru" doesn't exist because: 1) an object that size would be visible from backyard telescopes and would have been seen decades ago, which it still has not been, 2) an object as large as "Nibiru" would have a vastly visible gravitational pull on neighboring planets, which has not occured yet and 3) The "Nibiru" conspiracy theorists have been changing the date of their predictions for decades?

Does this mean we should ignore the scare tactics the conspiracy theorists with shit-for-brains that are translating the calendar to mean cataclysmic doom for the Earth?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's what that means.



Well kids, i'm glad we had this talk.
Night!